OK, this list of ten things is certainly not all-inclusive but it definitely has the potential of helping your relationship with your spouse become better. Remember when you first met your spouse and there were things that you overlooked and thought quaint or mildly annoying? Well, with time, those little things can become big things (as all things grow with time) and those massive things can make you forget what is really important.
It's good to check periodically on the important matters of life to see if something needs to be adjusted and changed. That is growth and maturity. Without a periodic checkup you can become weak, sickly and die. Best not let your relationship get to that point. Take this 10 point checkup and see where you may be needing to adjust you thinking and your life.
10 Things Every Couple Needs To Stop Doing
Most couples develop some bad habits over time that can wreak havoc on the relationship. Here are 10 things every couple needs to stop doing before they damage their relationship.
1. Giving Your Partner Your Partial AttentionChecking email, texting, or watching TV while your partner is in the same room doesn't constitute quality time together. However, many people have difficulty unplugging and giving their partner their undivided attention long enough to hold a real conversation. Give your partner your full attention so you can truly connect with one another.
2. Skimping on the ComplimentsYou can never give too many compliments. However, as a relationship matures, compliments often begin to dwindle. Give your partner plenty of encouragement. Offer praise and genuine words of encouragement to help your partner navigate each day with confidence.
3. Keeping Score
Keeping score and trying to ensure that everything is fair can make couples argue more like siblings. Everything doesn't have to be fair in your romantic relationship. Trying to keep a tally of who has done the most or who has earned something will only damage your relationship. Focus on giving to your partner rather than worrying about what you’re getting.
4. Not Being a Person of Your WordYour partner needs to know you are trustworthy. Make promises that you’ll follow through with. Don’t say things that you don’t mean and don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. Building trust, loyalty, and security in the relationship means that your partner needs to know you are a person of your word.
5. Talking More Than ListeningCommunication should involve listening more than you speak. However, most people focus more on getting their point across rather than truly trying to understand what their partner has to say. Focus on listening to your partner and developing an understanding of your partner’s point of view before trying to express your opinion. Listening to your partner can reduce a lot of conflict caused by misunderstandings.
6. Listening Passively OnlyListening should be an active process. However, many people treat it like a passive activity. Not talking doesn't constitute listening. In order to actively listen to someone, you should ask questions, nod your head, and seek clarification when you don’t understand. Get rid of other distractions and focus on what your partner has to say by showing you are actively trying to understand what is being said.
7. Making the Relationship Lower on the Priority ScaleRelationships often top the priority scale in the beginning but over time, a relationship can slip down the priority list slowly. Kids, jobs, extended family, and friends can all take precedence over the relationship if you’re not careful. The lower the relationship falls on the priority scale, the more likely the relationship will suffer.
8. Offering CriticismGiving too much criticism can break down a relationship quickly. Offering your opinion about what your partner doesn't do right or should be doing differently can create a wedge in the relationship. Offer feedback in a way that is tactful and diplomatic and make sure you are giving more positive feedback than negative.
9. Nagging One AnotherNagging is an annoying habit that can make a relationship become more painful than joyful. It’s okay to ask your partner to do something but avoid nagging if the job doesn't get done according to your time frame. Treat your partner like a responsible adult, not a child who needs parenting.
10. Trying to Change Each OtherTrying to change your partner will only backfire on you in the long-run. You can change yourself only. Focus on changing your own behavior and it may or may not lead your partner to change. Accept that you can’t force your partner to change and accept that your partner does not have to do what you want.
I'm sure you do! Better read this again and this time look at you differently.
It's not all about you! It's about caring for your spouse and making their life richer and blessed by being everything you can be for them. Our lives are not about making our life easier and better by everyone catering to our preferences and wishes. It's about giving up our preferences and wishes and taking care of those that are around us. Not the other way around.
There are some simple things we can do to change the way we look at others. You can get started today by thinking about someone else but yourself and focusing on doing something for that person you live with everyday, or that person you work with, or anyone you might run into who needs a kind word or a helping hand.
Check out this link for another thought about the way you think about the world around you.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/13-things-mentally-strong-people-dont.html
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