Monday, April 6, 2015

Confidence or Arrogance?

I have had people say that I am arrogant. It really bothers me when they say that. I struggle to find out if that is true and I want to know if there is something in me that makes me look arrogant on the outside. 

What is in my head that makes me think that way or come across as Arrogant?

I found an article that addresses that on that I think helped me understand what happens.

Confidence vs Arrogance
Between the two words Confidence and Arrogance, a number of differences can be identified. Trying to make this difference between arrogance and confidence can be very difficult for many people. This is because of many similarities between these two concepts. In fact, there are people who think they are just being confident, but never realize that they have crossed the thin dividing line between confidence and arrogance. Simply confidence can be understood as the trust or faith that a person has to someone, something, or of himself. Arrogance, on the other hand, refers to the exaggeration of a person’s importance and abilities. This highlights the basic difference differences between confidence and arrogance. Let us take a closer look at these two attributes to help people become more confident without becoming arrogant.
What is Confidence?
Belief in one’s abilities leads to confidence. A confident person is one who knows he has certain areas of strength. A confident person feels confident from inside; he does not necessarily pour out his knowledge or competence. Though they are also human beings, and they too feel good when told they are better at some things than others, and they too find gratification in validation, but they are not dependent upon this gratification. They try to be of use with their talent, and they succeed at the task at hand because of their ability. Unlike an arrogant person, a confident person is aware of both his strengths as well as areas of weaknesses and accepts them gracefully.
What is Arrogance?
When paying attention to the term arrogance, it can also be interpreted as a belief in one’s abilities. But this is a rather exaggerated version. The difference between Confidence and Arrogance lies in the fact that this or that ability is used to look down upon others. Arrogant people can be seen at all places. They are those who think less of others or someone in their surroundings. These are people who can be seen correcting flaws of others or showing them the right way of doing things. An arrogant person is more interested in being proven right than being happy. In a discussion, they go all out to prove they are right by dismissing other’s arguments. To be proven right is the most important objective for such people, even if this comes at the cost of reducing other’s status or making them feel lesser. Unlike a confident person, an arrogant person is dependent on validation. Thus, the difference between a confident and an arrogant person is not on abilities, but of having a calm control over oneself. An arrogant person tries to belittle others by displaying his abilities while a confident person displays his abilities only in case of genuine need. There is a school of thought that arrogance stems from a sense of insecurity, and a person is arrogant to compensate for areas of weakness that cause distress for such a person.
Arrogance breeds superiority, and often an arrogant person becomes unbearable to have in one’s life. This is why, it is difficult for arrogant people to make long lasting relationships. On the other hand, a confident person is not competing with others all the time and having a confident person as a friend or partner is a comfortable position to be in.Even the body language of an arrogant person is different from that of a confident person. There are an excessive swagger and a commanding posture and demeanor that is a result of arrogance. Confidence, on the other hand, gives a pleasing personality and an open posture that is liked by most people. ( )

I believe that sin has a lot to do with our attitudes and the mind is the first place the enemy attacks us in order to cause us to sin. Following the wrong thoughts leads to a sinful act in the end. I want to be found faithful and not practice sinning. I know I am not going to do everything right so when I sin, I know there is an advocacy for me in Christ. That brings me to Proverbs 28:1 "The wicked flee when ho man pursues but the righteous are as bold as a lion." I want boldness and not arrogance. Gill's exposition seems to define that well.
Proverbs 28:1The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.The wicked flee when no man pursueth,.... Through the terrors of a guilty conscience, as in Cain and others; who fear where no immediate cause of fear is, are frightened with their own shadows; and as Gaal was with the shadow of the mountains, he took for an army of men, as his friend told him, Judges 9:36; they are chased with the sound of a shaken leaf, and fancy men are at their heels to destroy them, and therefore with all haste flee to some place of safety; see Leviticus 26:17;but the righteous are bold as a lion; which turns not away from any creature it meets with, nor mends its pace when it is pursued, but walks on intrepidly, and oftentimes lies down and sleeps in open places, and as securely as in woods and dens, being devoid of all fear; hence the heart of a valiant man is said to be as the heart of a lion, 2 Samuel 17:10; see Proverbs 30:30; so Pindar (z) compares a courageous man to a lion for boldness. 
Now righteous men are as bold as this creature, or more so; some of them have stopped the mouths of lions, and have dwelt securely in the midst of them, as righteous Daniel: and all righteous men are or may be as fearless as the lion; fear God they do, but have no reason to fear any other; and many of them are fearless of men, of their menaces and reproaches, or of anything they can do to them; since not only angels are their guardians, but God is on their side, and Christ has overcome the world for them: they are fearless of Satan and his principalities; they are delivered out of his hands; they know he is a coward, though a roaring lion, and when resisted will flee from thorn; yea, that he is a chained, conquered, enemy: and, though they are afraid of committing sin, yet are fearless of the damning power of it; Christ having bore their sins, made satisfaction for thong; for whose sake they are pardoned; and whose righteousness justifies and blood cleanses from all sin: they are fearless of death; its sting being removed, itself abolished as a penal evil, and become a blessing, and is the righteous man's, gain: they are fearless of wrath to come; Christ having delivered them from it, and they being justified by his blood: they are courageous as the lion in fighting the Lord's battles with sin, Satan, and the world, and in enduring hardiness as good soldiers of Christ; knowing their cause is good, that Christ is the Captain of their salvation, their spiritual armour is proved, and they are sure of victory and of a crown They are "confident" (a) as the lion, as the word may he rendered; they are confident of the love of God, of their interest in Christ, of the grace of God in their hearts, and that all things work together for their good; and that it is, and always will be, well with them, let things go how they will in the world, and so are secure. 
They are bold and undaunted, both before God and men; before God in prayer, knowing him to be their covenant God in Christ, having in view the blood and righteousness of Christ, and being assisted by his Spirit: and they are undaunted before men; if the righteous man is a minister of the word, he speaks it boldly, as it ought to be spoken, fearing the faces of none, knowing it to be the Gospel of Christ, the truth, as it is in him, and the power of God to salvation; and if a private Christian, he is a public professor of Christ, this word and ordinances, which he is not ashamed to own before all the world; in short, the righteous are bold in life and in death, and will be so in the day of judgment; and it is their righteousness which makes them so, from which they are denominated righteous, even not their own, but the righteousness of Christ.

So I ask of you to please help me when you believe I am being arrogant and tell me what you think. I don't want to act that way but I want to be walking in light. I need your help to do that. Together we can fulfill the purpose of God in being together, unity, and functioning in the love of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

If your feel like you have been acting in arrogance then I ask you to take time to look at your situation as well. It may be shocking to see what others see but it will help you to know, so you don't get deceived by sin. Walking in the light is much safer than stumbling through the darkness.