I have not posted anything here the past 4 years. Why? Well, I have experienced several major events that consumed my attention and I decided to wait to post about them. Some of those events were: Curtis Sargent training for discipleship, Covid-19 lockdown and my Covid infection, Rotor cuff surgery, Eli's Wedding, 26th Anniversary trip to Jamaica where my wife left our marriage, Heart surgery three weeks later, then Cardio Rehab and then Zach's Wedding, four months of Men's group therapy for abandoned husbands, Started a new job at Domino's, Joined the gym for Physical cardio and weight training, signed divorce papers, started working on remodeling some homes in the village, took a trip to SD for my mom's birthday in January and afterwards met my future wife (Lynn) on a dating site, medical tests for health checks, continued to get to know Lynn and got married again in November, then moved into a new home with Lynn, spent the last year sorting and building a new home space, visited and found new church home and became the caregiver of my wife for cancer treatment and staph infection complications.
So, there have been many events to consider and there have been so many emotional and physical changed in my life that I felt it was time to return to this blog and record some of the most important feelings and thoughts. But first, I need to share my thought about the highway.
Recently the state has been resurfacing Highway 64 from Selmer to Rose Creek Road. While I drive this route at least 5 times a week I began to see how this process is a lot like my life. I felt it was prudent to take in these observations and write about my thoughts and reflect on the analogies of this well driven road's changes as they compare to my life.
In retrospect of the past 3 years and all that has gone on I feel this is a great comparison of my life to the road construction. Probably because a lot of my time has been spent in remodeling and reconstruction of carpentry projects as well as the reconstruction of my life through loss of my family, divorce, and remarriage.
The beginning of the road reconstruction on Highway 64 meant the old surface had to be removed which caused a lot of traffic problems and it was very ugly. It was hard to understand what they were doing.
It feels like that was my life from 2019 till 2022. So many things happened that felt like a stipping away of my life to the bare surface of mere existence. Nothing in my life felt familiar. It was a wiping away of what I knew and was and had been comfortable with. A family and wife was stripped away from me. There was nothing left that was as it was before. All I knew and desired before was a family life with my wife and children. For things to remain the same. Yes, there were some pothole, so to speak, but I felt we were able to fill in those holes and smooth over the rough patches as long as we were willing to work together.
Unfortunately, that was not the case. Road construction has to have a plan that everyone adheres to in an organized fashion. First things first, and so on. That order has to come from the engineer who is designing the project. I believe that engineer is comparatively God in our lives. But then the road workers have to hear, see and follow the plan of the engineer.
In very short order of time I was alone. So then there was one. Me and my God to be prepared for what there was to come. I didn't know what to do or think. It was a stripping away of everything I knew and felt. A nothingness of emptiness and hopelessness.
That's what the road construction crew did to the highway. They removed the road as I knew it. All the bumps, potholes, smooth areas and familiar areas of the road were removed and hauled away. There was nothing left but a scathed road surface that was abrasive and barren of real road surface.
My life was empty of everything and brought to the bare surface of nothingness. There was a time of navigating a rough road, the pain of heartache, both physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. I wasn't sure of what that road of life was going to look like in the end but I just knew God had engineered a new life, although different from the past and I could trust He was able to make it good. He knew exactly what had to happen to effect the change that was going to happen and how to make the very best for living.
The first stage of the road reconstruction, after demolition, was a primer coat and it was rough and had lots of sharp edges on it. Lots of traffic had to navigate around warning cones. Excess tar was on the road that was picked up by my tires and deposited along the sides and underbelly of my vehicle. People's driving in front of me was hazardous as they slowed down to almost a stop in a crawl. Everyone was on the lookout for bumps Sharp edges. It looked ugly it was hard to understand what was going on when there was a pause in the reconditioning of the road because it looked like they just stopped and didn't finish the work that they were supposed to be doing. There was a new primer surface on the roadway, but the shoulders were still untouched and the stripes looked like someone just used a spray can of white paint to show somewhat of a division between the lanes. Nothing was finished or how the engineer's product should look like a normal divided highway.
This was so much what life felt like for me during the time of separation and divorce. So many questions about what was going on and no clear answers about the reasons for WHAT was going on. No communication or explanations. Just a removal of all that was before on the road to life as I knew it. Two sons were now married and another left to live with his mother. Minimal communication and no hope of reconciliation. Lots of warning signs that indicated a rough road with detours and traffic delays.
The second phase began with the placement of a much thicker smoother surface being put down on the inside lane. It appeared as the finished product. It was much smoother with all the stripes and lines in the right places. Unlike the first where it looked like a drunken sailor had tried to paint lines on the road. There was now some semblance of reordering this highway. There was a hope for a new finished roadway that would carry traffic along it's path in a normal and comfortable fashion.
This was a reminder of how God brought me to the hope of a new life together with my new found friend and future wife. Hope was growing in that God's plan was not just a patch or stitching of a surgical incision down the front of my chest. It was a process of healing and a renewing of my mind and soul. There was someone out there that loved God and had a life given to her who was woven into the fabric of His master plan.
So was it with the next stage of reconstructing my life. God really had engineered not only my life but was demonstrating the re-engineering of another persons life. There was a recognition of the Life of Christ inside of her and a knowing that God had rescued her from the destruction she had survived. Her life had been under construction as well. Her road had been stripped down to the rough surface as well.
As time goes on, the road will be completed and restored to the new smooth surface it was intended to be. The stripping will be reapplied and clearly define the lanes on the road. The interchanges and the shoulders will be completed and traffic will be able to sail down the road without detours or obstructions. The road crews will be gone and the process of construction will not be remembered. It will be lifef as normal again.
So many things about this construction project parallels my life. It's hard to see what God's doing sometimes but I know and we trust that God knows what he's doing. We just have to be patient. We have to drive that route in the condition of this everyday and know that it won't be like that forever.
As my newly surfaced life becomes the norm again, I am thankful and rejoicing in the work of the Lord. He has joined me to another life like mine which will continue to grow in the joy of the life we have been given. With each other and for each other. Both of us seeking the will of God every day. God is so good to us. We are blessed with the love of God smoothing our way over the old rough road of the past. All obstacles removed and opportunities renewed to serve Him in new ways.
The road construction is finished now and we have a new, smooth road that feels comfortable and enjoyable to drive. I can set the cruise control and sail on down this new road now. Alot like God is providing for me now as time has brought about a much more normal life in that the old has become new. Sure there are circumstances that pop up and situations that have to be delt with but you know what? God has everything under His control and I don't have to be stressed or worry about how things are going to work out.
I am planning on blogging more about some of the things God has brought me through on this blog site but I will also be writing about some of my pizza adventures from work. You can see that blog here.
Wishing you all the best in your journey with Jesus as your pilot and the Holy Spirit as your navigator. May God bestow many blessing upon you and yours for your travels in life.
